September 15th, 2009 - Fuck You Numbers 37...and 38

At the beginning of the year, we watched a young teen idol try to make minced-meat out of the face of his, ahem, love interest. Then, we sat back and ridiculed and crucified an athlete who served his time, and accepted the consequences for his actions. And most recently, we witnessed a reality television star mutilate his ex-wife.

WTF America? It seems there are quite a few of us who have our heads up our asses.

No one however has their head further up there ass than Mr. Kanye West. Kanyeezy, Yeezy, Air Yeezy; the afrocentric Chicagoan who for one reason or another can't seem to get enough of himself. Unfortunately, the guy hasn't done anything positive for music since laying down some solid beats for Talib Kweli's Quality.

Let's look at what he's done since:

• He's taken others' ideas and music, and tried to make it his own (that's a given).


• He gave us auto-tune (hopefully Jigga stepped up and finally put it to rest).


• He has made a CLOWN out of himself on stage numerous times in an attempt to maliciously attack his fellow artists...

Wait a minute, that last one could be seen in a positive light, however his last stunt pulled on "TEENAGER" Taylor Swift at this year's MTV Video Music Awards was nothing short of appalling. Furthermore, the ass-faced producer claims he recognized it was a heartless thing to do moments after letting the words escape his mouth into the microphone in front of millions...can I throw the bullshit flag here, or does someone else want to? Even President Obama has reportedly commented on your lack of decency and respect for your "colleagues." You dick.

I can only hope (and an awfully big hope it is) that this most recent episode kills your career.

Fuck you Kanye West. And fuck the doctor who didn't leave your jaw wired shut back in '05.

Cheers.

October 17th, 2008 - Fuck You Number 5

I hope during your lifetime you find it in you to better yourself physically, and preferably sooner, than later. Head out to the nearest mountain and go on a hike, or jump on your bike with your dog and give the poor mutt a good run, while you yourself get some well-deserved cardio. Whatever you decide to do, do it. We're becoming rather pathetic, America. 

Look up and down our streets. Look at the coworker sitting at the desk ten feet to your left. Look at the children walking through the mall with their mother or father; or better yet (and God forbid in today's society), mother AND father. What do you see? Correct. You see that society I spoke of in a recent post. A society plagued by Burger Kings, BlackBerries, and the internet (I still can't wait to get to this one).

You see twelve year-olds, who instead of coming home with a knee that could use a good spritz of hydrogen-peroxide, come walking through the door with a PSP in one hand, a cell-phone in the other, and a chocolate-covered, Krispy Kreme long-john hanging from their mouth by a strand of creme-filling. And hell, its not only the twelve year-olds. Yesterday at lunch I watched my 19 year-old daughter's boyfriend eat enough food, to feed the entire population that actually find relevant information within Sarah Palin's speeches.

Growing boy my ass.

Seriously, I'm not here to tell you to head to the gym and begin throwing around iron, like Hulk Hogan throws around the word, "brother." And I'm not insisting that you find your nearest YMCA pool and try to achieve "Calista Flockhart skinniness." Just get some blood flowing here and there. 

Oh, and just to clarify one thing, I'm talking about obesity. Not the Alec Baldwin gut, or the Beyonce thighs...and ladies, come on, they're big. I'm talking about Gilbert Grape's mom type shit. 

  

And yep, that shit.

Fuck obesity. Fuck the gadgets and ideas society continues to promote to provoke laziness.

Cheers.